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When my apartment jungle started failing, I did what any design-school graduate would do: I scheduled a crit. What followed was a semester of mood boards, brutal peer feedback, and one pothos who simply refused to take notes.
Clause 7, Section B of my lease forbids painting the walls. It says nothing about cabinet interiors, light switch plates, or the airborne armada currently circling my living room. This is the log of a renter who treated a legal document as a design brief.
What if state borders were drawn by a hungry cartographer at 6 a.m.? A fully illustrated, legally indefensible reclassification of America as breakfast — with reasoning so airtight it will absolutely start a comment war.
Every great theme park ride is really a short story you stand in line for. Here are ten attractions I never designed — complete with backstories, queue gags, and the small towns that would have loved them.
Before I ever opened design software, I ran a full creative studio with a staff of invisible weirdos. Now I'm putting my childhood imaginary friends on the clock: a tier-ranked review of their visual identities, brand consistency, and one catastrophic rebrand.
America perfected the art of the giant roadside oddity — now I'm pitching five attractions for fictional worlds that deserve their own gift shops. Grab a slushie, ignore your GPS, and come get lost in places that only exist in my notebooks.